I'm gonna get better

Last week was extremely unproductive. I have a lot of reasons that I could say for that but most of it was health related and this week I'm feeling better so far. I'm hoping that this week will prove a lot more productive.

I did do some writing last week, mostly about league but it's still writing. I felt extra frazzled this week but hopefully I'll find the other side of it. I want to get into writing on some of my stories. So badly! It's hard to figure out how to get past the blocks. I've been working on getting back into Uncommon Valor by handwriting what I've already had written. I think it might help in the long run.

I also think I should revisit writing fanfiction. Even if it's just drabbles but just getting out words and getting affirmation tha feels good. It's encouraging and I think it could help motivate me to get done what I want to get done. It's just so hard for so long.

I've been watching Scandal. It's really good. I've already finished the first three seasons. It makes me want to look toward picking up Political Gamble again but I might have to wait a bit on that. I think Uncommon Valor is where I  need to start on my original work so I can get it finished.

I'm also going to return to reading regularly I know that that generally helps writing. If I read more then I will write more. I'm going to do better. I think I'll be happier if I get more writing done.

The struggle is real

So, I'm going to keep up regularly updating my blog. I haven't really been able to work much on the writing front. I've read. I've been listening to the audio book for Hard Choices by Hillary Clinton and reading another book at times. I've got way too many books in my currently reading but I hope to finish at least 3 more this month (I've already finished one).

I've been marathoning watching Scandal. It's really addicting. I'm really frustrated with the current Jake arc and I'm ready for it to be over. It's making me turn back to one of my older novels I planned out and I think I might start looking into working in it again. It's called Political Gamble and is set during the JFK era. However, I think finishing Uncommon Valor might be in order. I need to finish something.

I'm still working on writing out on paper from the online document of my manuscript of Uncommon Valor. I think that it's helping me slowly get out of my funk. I want to write. I really do. I think not writing has been making me more depressed but it's so hard to fight through the depression and how much my job saps my energy. I feel empty everyday after work.

Maybe I should write a story about that. Just a dreary life sucks sort of story. Somehow, I don't think people want to read about that though! I have to do better. I think blogging will continue to help. I'll keep trying.

Reading

I haven't really done much writing yet, even the cowrite with Sammy. The energy that it takes to right has been sapped from me. I haven't been feeling well and I've been feeling rather depressed lately. I'm trying to keep up with at least writing on my blog as frequently as possible. Though, I don't particularly have a decent topic this time around.


Even though I haven't been writing, I have been reading quite a bit. Right now, I'm swapping between a harlequin book, the bell jar and I am Malala depending on what sounds good at the time. Though, I am Malala is my work book currently since I have it in physical form so can clearly read it at my desk. The others are ebooks.


My hope is that the more I read the sooner I will get to the point where I can really attain writing again. I miss writing but I just feel so drained all the time and like there's nothing left for me to put into my writing.


I'm also going to be working on handwriting one of my stories from an online document to paper. I've found that that really reacquaints me with a story moreso than just rereading it. I also enjoy writing on paper so I think maybe going through that medium might help as well.


Do you have any strange or unique strategies for getting back into a story you set aside?

So, this week my schedule changed. Not really my schedule but my days off changed. However, this still feels like a huge adjustment. And it also means that now my roommate will be working different hours than me. I'll have to get up an hour earlier to get to work at the same time and then wait around for over an hour before work begins. Then, I won't have a ride home after work so I will be spending 2+ hours getting home every night.

This will make having time to do the things I want harder, I think. I'm going to try and turn that time into reading/writing time. Probably reading for the most part. Writing on my phone has never been my forte.

I also have a new supervisor. I'm a bit wary about the change. I hope all goes well. We'll see.

Welcome to 2016!

So, my only resolution this year is to write everyday. Whether it's stories or a blog, I will write every day. This is obviously starting today, Jan 1st of 2016 (at least that's when I started writing)!

The agenda for this post is pretty simple:

• Writing Projects for 2016
• Book Reading Goals for January - March
• General goals

Writing Projects for 2016

1. The Pink Triangle (novel) / Uncommon Valor (companion short story) (WWII era) 
2. Yiliang/Deshaun (novella) (interracial relationship musician/poet)
3. Darveon/Ainslie (novel) (progamer/hockey college, co write with Sammy!)
4. Political Gamble (novel) (late 60s era m/m)

Book Reading Goals 

1. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
2. I am Malala by Malala Yousafzai
3. Lights out by Ted Kopple
4. The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss
5. Enticed by his forgotten lover by Maya Banks
6. The Kabbalistic Murder Code by Nathan Erez
7. Hard Choices by Hillary Clinton
8. Zoo by James Patterson
9. I want to live by Lurlene McDaniels
10. Paper Towns by John Green
11. The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick
12. Everything Burns by Vincent Zandri
13. The Stand by Stephen King
14. The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor
15. No god but God by Reza Aslan
16. A storm of swords by George R.R. Martin
17. Slaughter House five by Kurt Vonnegut
18. The Monuments Men by Robert Edsel
19. Uglies by Scott Westerfield
20. Plague of Coins by Aiden James
21. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
22. And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Housseini
23. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
24. Genesis by Poul Anderson
25. Catalyst by S.L Armstrong

General Goals

• I want to get my medical coding certification so I can get into a job I want
• I want to eat healthier as often and much as I can
• I want to get some of my writing published
• I want to start putting money back to further future goals.

Why changing your profile picture and hashtags matter...

I recently have seen people saying that changing your profile picture or using hashtags like "#prayforparis" doesn't matter.  I would argue that the world showing solidarity for any event in a positive way does matter. There's a lot of things that it contributes. It gives the person doing it peace, it lets you do something in a situation where you are virtually helpless. It also lets people on the other side of the world know they are not alone in their pain.

On a bigger scale, what it does is allow us to help each other. Whether it was the open door hash tag that Parisians used, or messages of hope and compassion... It's not money, it's not mass policy change but it is something and it matters. Social media is a powerful tool. Hashtags can become movements but even if they don't what is the harm in providing comfort, solidarity and compassion?

I understand wanting to do more. I want to do more. But if we all do what we can, when we can the world will be better. Black Lives Matter started as an online social media movement and has become a national force to be reckoned with. They are making change. So, try again to tell me hashtags and profile pictures don't matter.

This all being said, I'll continue to use hashtags and my words and my online space to help spread messages that are important. I'm also going to make sure my writing reflects the values I want to see in the world.

I'm currently planning out a story about a Syrian refugee. I'm needing to do some more research to understand how to portray the regular views of a Muslim and how their religion affects who they are since I feel it should be a piece in the story even though it's not all there is to it. And to adequately portray it I know that I need a better understanding. I've been searching for someone who would just talk about what Islam means to them and how it shapes their life (I don't want to take my Christian past, especially since I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian religion. That feels like I'm just find and replacing and that's lazy.).

If you know anyone that would give me their opinions let me know! Comments here, @poetsanarachy or kitemry @ gmail

Reboot

I'm going to reboot this thing. I've started a league of legends blog as well. Just a simple one of course. This one isn't much either, I suppose. This is just a recentering post. I'm not going to be posting much content in this particular post but it is more of a place holder for starting over.


I'm going to start with weekly writing blogs for this blog and my league of legends blog. I hope that it will help inspire me to write more and also I enjoy the idea of blogging for an audience (hopefully I can have one someday).


In any case, keep an eye out for great things here!